The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
