he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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