Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
