That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
