i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
