Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
