Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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