So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize