Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
