he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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