PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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