Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
