final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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