You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
