how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
