Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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