It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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