What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
