You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i need some magic done to my vagina
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
