like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
