oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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