he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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