The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
