what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
