so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
