If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
