If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
