Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
