Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
