stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
