He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
