I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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