This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
