he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
