She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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