how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
