so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
