now i know why i became what i already was.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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