Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
