i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
