Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
