God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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