She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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