how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
