If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
one might say we're banned from that church
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
