i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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