from now on my penis is your penis
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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