So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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