Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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