the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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