I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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