it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
