Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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