Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
