I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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