I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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