with your own penis?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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