Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
