So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
