i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize