I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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