Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
