i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
