if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
