Are we in a gay sports bar?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
