I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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