woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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