and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
