my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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