Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
