Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
