never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
