I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my shit smells like andre
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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