Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
