Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
