um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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