This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
